I kind of want to talk about romance today. I just read Josh and Hazel’s Guide to Not Dating by Christina Lauren, and problematic elements aside, I want to talk about romanticizing relationships that the characters have to work extremely hard to overcome trials and be together. This is obviously just my perspective, so take it with a grain of salt. This is also according to my perception of relationships and what I think they should be.
One thing I really liked about Josh and Hazel was it wasn’t a standard romance formula (and I’m not dissing the standard romance formula because I love it—I’m getting to all of it, so just a minute). Standard Romance Formula to me is person A and person B meet, they overcome stuff to be together, they get together, then there’s another conflict, then after that, there’s the happily ever after. I like this format because when done well it creates a lot of tension and feelings that I love.
But the risk of having two main conflicts in a book is that the second one can feel diminished or rushed if it’s created too close to the ending (which most romance secondary plots are). Spoilers for Josh and Hazel but most of the book is them dating other people and then the main conflict in the book is the two is trying to decide whether or not they should admit they have romantic feelings towards each other. When this happens, there are about 50 pages of the couple having to process that Hazel is pregnant. But it’s not like one is saying yes and the other is saying no, so they’re still basically together.
Anyway, I really liked this refreshing change. Maybe it’s just because my husband and I kind of “fell” together, and maybe it’s because my husband and I despise conflict, but sometimes I just like to see people come together and stay that way. Maybe that’s why my favorite part of romance novels is when they get together and everything is peachy-keen. That all aside, I understand the need for conflict in a book, but in romance books, sometimes I just would like less of it; especially if the two characters have already had to fight to get together.
There’s this quote from Everything Everything by Nicola Yoon that says, “You’re not living if you’re not regretting” and I don’t know, I guess I just kind of go like ??? at that? On the one hand, I totally get the sentiment; that if you don’t take risks, no matter what the consequence, are you living a full life. But at the same time I’m like… “But it’s kind of in the same vein of ‘Oh those simple country folk who just want to get married and then build a white picket fence and then have kids and then die’” It just seems like there’s something wrong with wanting a relationship you fall into like and it’s easy and simple—like there’s something wrong with, “I fell in love with you the way I fall asleep, slowly then all at once,” —The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. Anyway, just food for thought, but sometimes I don’t necessarily need a ton of conflict in my books, whether it’s romance or sci-fi or fantasy. It might be one of the reasons I like The Night Circus so much, which arguably is one of the books with the lowest level of conflict. So it was more just a passing thought I had after finishing Josh and Hazel than anything else. If you know of any books like this definitely let me know!
If you’re not adverse to same-sex relationships, Play It Again by Aidan Wayne might be something to check out. It was so cute and there’s very little conflict in the story, most of which comes from the two main characters being on different continents.
I loved this post though because I agree with it all. My husband and I have been married for 21 years and we rarely fight. Conflict is a part of life but, if you know how to communicate, more often than not, you can head conflict off before it gets bad. And that’s the thing that bugs me about so many romance novels. Way too often, the *big conflict* is something that could have been resolved with a ten minute conversation. But no, HIS EGO and HER PRIDE and ugh.
And um, sorry. I got carried away there. Hahaha.
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hah no you’re good! And I do love books with conflict like that, but I just wish there were more options and ranges of conflict. Thank you so much for hte recommendation. I’ll definitely have to check it out!
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Good to know! But I wanted to throw that out there just in case.
I hear you on that. In our everyday lives, there are so many sources of conflict, both big and little. You’d think that these authors would work more of that into these stories.
I hope you like it, it was incredibly cute!
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I can’t think of any books like that off the top of my head, but I’ll let you know if I stumble across one. That sort of romance seems quite interesting.
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Thank you! If you do decide to read Josh and Hazel let me know what you think!
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