I promise sometime soon I’ll be doing a cover assessment again. The one I’m working on is just taking a little longer and there was a holiday. But anyway, today I’m coming at you with idea I picked up from Everything Everything by Nicola Yoon. In the book, the character runs a tumblr where she writes “short summaries” of the books she reads—no longer than one sentence. One of the summaries she writes is “Beware the Queen of Hearts. She’ll have your head.” I thought this was such a fun idea when I read the book like three years, so I decided to try it!

  1. Pride and Prejudce by Jane Austen—Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
  2. Romeo and Juliet by Shakespear—They’re not dead until they’re warm and dead.
  3. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins—Society tests Darwin’s theories.
  4. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald—Whinny little bitch loses fortune because he couldn’t look away from the green light.
  5. Brave New World by Aldus Huxley—Drugs are bad.
  6. Les Miserablés by Victor Hugo—Everyone is poor and dies tragically.
  7. Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie—Naive boy who won’t grow up searches for mother housekeeper servant then gets mad when she wants to leave
  8. The Selection by Keirra Cass—The American Broadcasting Company proudly presents: The Miss America Pagent: 2012.
  9. Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien—The most experienced people make the least qualified people do the hardest task.
  10. Othello by Shakespear—Villain thrives off chaos before thriving off chaos was cool.
  11. Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling—Boy who didn’t want to be “The boy who lived,” lived.
  12. The Cruel Prince/The Wicked King by Holly Black—Character A: *turns around*
    Character B: *stabs A*
    Character A: *is shocked*
  13. Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain—Cheeky bastard manipulates others to do shit for him.
  14. To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han—Everyone has at least one bad boyfriend.
  15. Twilight by Stephanie Meyer—Old white place face stalks young white pale face.
  16. Maybe Someday by Colleen Hoover—”Cause the cheaters gonna cheat cheat cheat cheat cheat”.
  17. To Kill A Mocking Bird by Harper Lee—Book masquerading as anti-racism is really just about losing childhood innocence.
  18. The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis—Luke chapter 22-24.

**this is just in jest, obviously all these books are more complex than what I’m making them out to be**